I am sitting home thinking that I really ought to come up with another witty and urban posting for this blog; something tremendously funny yet socially relevant in order for all of you out there to be so captivated by my humor and charm that the emails would just roll in. Either you’re all in bed or you have other things to do, like talk to your friends, family, spouses, children or various telemarketers should you not currently be registered on the national no-call list.
Yes, I’m hoping for a telemarketer to call right now…
The truth is that I have no friends with this like passion. I don’t answer my door naked and ask people to remove their pants and top in order to come in, nor have I shared my need to be naked with people at work, my family, neighbors or any persons I may casually meet and think highly of. So I thought to myself “Self, why not use that internet thing that you like so much and start to look for others like yourself…”
Self was not too lucky, hence the reason you get this entry.
Fact is, that as I started to search the internet for links with search commands like Denver nudist, Colorado nudist, desperate nudist seeks like, really really really desperate nudist will pay for friendship, PLEASE GOD SOMEBODY LIKE ME and other bites I wasn’t getting very lucky. There seem to be about three Colorado organizations for nudists and a 4-5 clothing-optional hot-springs 80+miles from my house (current Denver temperature a balmy 26 degrees, wheee doesn‘t that sound like fun). These organizations seem welcoming but the fact that I have to be interviewed because I am a single male (different dues as well and y’all won’t let me get married and ever get the chance to see my dues drop) which makes me feel that I have to qualify to be a nudist much like I have to be qualified to get a job. What if you don’t like the tattoos or the piercings or that I believe in naked activism? How comfortable am I going to feel when I walk into the room and I am the only single person in a group full of couples and children - yep, I’m gonna feel like the freak that I’ve felt like since I was 5 and I’ve worked too hard to go through that again.
I understand the need to meet and monitor new persons that join these organizations for the safety of all other members and please don’t get me wrong: every man, woman and child deserve the utmost safety in all situations but I have to think for one minute that policing our own to make sure we are all safe is a little different than having to pass the naked litmus test, because I’ll tell you now if you don’t like anything other than white bread chances are I won’t make it through the door.
Besides, it’s pretty sick that you make me pay more as a penance for not being able to find the right person to share my life - don’t you think that I feel bad enough about that as it is without hitting me in the wallet?
Sorry, I’m naked, I don’t have my wallet on me right now.
I know I sound bitter and I might be because there are other naked people out there talking with other naked people and I’m not.
I’ll try Google advanced search tomorrow….
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