I’m back, with apologies

So I’m back; it’s been almost a year without having posted anything to this blog or having spoken with the people I met by starting it, and I have to admit writing this one is tough - I’ve thought of doing it for a couple of weeks now but like all difficult things I have a tendency to procrastinate when something’s not joyful or fun.

What’s not fun is that I have to apologize to everyone who ever read the blog or contacted me about it because I now have to explain my reason for having been absent, not only from the blog but also for having abandoned what I believe in.

Early last year I started seeing someone and during the relationship I basically deserted nudism in favor of a relationship with a person that did not believe in it.

Now I’m back after that door has closed and I’ve had a little time for the pain to the softern the loss.

I’m not proud for having let a person I care about change me, not proud for wanting to be with a person that wouldn’t accept what I was about, and in the end I still am having to determine which was worse - my wanting to be with someone so much that I would be with a person who wanted me to change so drastically or the fact that I did change and gave up a small part of myself to reach for something I believed might be more important.

Finding someone who accepts you for who you are is important - I hope I’ve learned my lesson.

I must look back and determine why I felt I needed someone else so much that I allowed them to alter me. It’s not the first time I have taken two steps back in personal growth, hoping that this one might be the one, putting my own wants and needs aside. Compromise is one thing, but giving up the way you want to live and who you want to be is more than compromise, it’s desperation…

During the past 10 months I’ve bought a house, had the company I work for purchased by a multi-million dollar publicly-held corporation, and ended what I thought might be a last chance at happiness.

Some good changes and some bad changes, plenty of fodder for a blog.

My apologies to you for dropping of the face of the earth without a word - too bad because many of you, more than friends and family who have known me for a lifetime, understand me.

I think it's nice to be back.