Is age relevant?

So I’m having another birthday. I closing in on 50; if I reach out with my hand I can touch it and even though I admire this age on others (50 is the new 40), it doesn’t seem to be reaching back to me with a warm embrace but instead with a big, fat, ugly wrinkle stick.

Over the course of a couple of years I’ve been able to interact with others socially a number of times naked, and more and more I seem to be the eldest participant. When I realize this I often wonder if I should gracefully back away from the group and just put my pants on - for some reason or another I often find myself pondering that maybe I should just this leave kind of recreation to the firmer, shapelier, tauter 20-somethings, because we’ve all heard this before: “nudists are never the people that you want to see naked”.

Does age matter when you want to be naked? I know that when I see an older person at a nude beach I think it’s a wonderful thing. I think older bodies are beautiful; each wrinkle and line shows another experience in his or her life, whether good or bad, that this person was able to maneuver and survive. That person’s ability to shed their clothes regardless of how their body looks is a testament to core beliefs and self-assurance, and with age comes wisdom; talk to this person and you get stories and history - little pearls that you can use yourself later in life.

I was looking at pictures of me at one of these gatherings and I stand out - it’s not the tattoos or the metal or my height. I’m not the only bald guy, the only skinny guy, but I am the oldest guy. As the oldest person I sat back and thought that if I were missing from the picture it might appear more natural somehow, and that with me included it almost seems as though I was an outsider trying to fit in.

I don’t know what this all means. Maybe I need to be less of a nudist trying to be naked anytime I can, wherever I can. Should I now confine myself to interacting with nudists my own age in more acceptable places - that little group on the beach surrounded by all the young bucks and does, or do I need to work harder at looking “good” for my age?

I think these must be the questions that all nudists and naturists must ask themselves - I guess for the most part these are the questions that we all ask ourselves as we get older.

I’m going to try very hard to be one of those “seniors” that we see on the beach - the older man or woman that seems not to have a care in the world regardless of a little sagging and creasing. I also need to figure out why age or a little extra weight seems to weigh heavy on mind when I always profess the opposite to others.

Maybe I just need to find more people my age that don’t care about wrinkles and gravity and don’t mind being a little out of place in the picture…

Another step outside of the ol’ comfort zone

So we’re all out here - you’re either like me or you’re curious about people like me or you’re bored or you may even just need a laugh at the expense of someone who looks different or has different beliefs - it’s all good and even though the thought of being the butt of a joke made by someone completely anonymous to me bothers me sometimes - it’s a small price for meeting new people and being honest to one’s self.

So self I say, why am I not out in the thick of things?

I used to be - look at the picture and you can see that I used to be pretty adventurous; I mean you don’t get naked in front of a mall for god’s sake without being a willing to put yourself out there. This picture (and others) are a couple of years old and when I did them I felt alive. Taking these pictures meant I was different and edgy and went against the grain. Taking these pictures made me feel as if I had overcome years of always blending into the wall at social events (really, just blending in on a day-to-day basis), and never having any in my life that gave me bragging rights. Doing these pictures gave me the sense that I could actually stand up for rights and freedoms I truly believe in my heart we should have, and it made me feel strong and individual and proud.

So why do I still feel so all alone in this?

I said I found a group that seemed to be like me - acknowledging and celebrating body-freedom and individuality regardless of age, sex, body type. I’ve inserted myself into that group, albeit quietly, with the validation that I can put my money where my mouth is, all with no direct contact back from any of the other participants. Now I know that this all takes time; even with the guaranteed anonymity of the Internet there is still some reluctance in approaching people directly - I know this because I am just as guilty of this as are many, many other people who’d like to reach out to somebody , but for some reason pull back.

We’re all so different and I know that there is a lot about me that most people may not like. There are visible and personal attributes that may make people think twice about contact, things that could make people think we could have less in common than more so they just move on. I do this as well and I think it’s time for me to stop. I’d like to feel more alive again and me using excuses about my age or appearance should not hold me back. Even if I think that I have few shared interests with a person I stumble upon out here on the net, I should reach out if to do nothing more than say hello.

If you get a note from me, know that I just wanted to reach out to someone who peaked my interest, who shared an experience (good or bad) that I identified with, or made me laugh or smile.

And yes, the camera will be coming back out soon if for nothing else then to give a good laugh to someone else…

New Year’s Resolutions

So I never try to do this to myself; set unreasonable requirements against myself so as the year progresses and my goals are unattained and I feel as though I have failed.

Failure sucks.

Failure sucks more when you can’t blame it on anyone other than yourself.

Instead of setting myself up for failure by defining unrealistic ambitions which would only result in an increase in the bad habits that I am attempting to change (I can‘t stop smoking and when I can‘t I smoke more), so I’ve decided to make resolutions that I can keep by resolving to allow myself a few things:


I will allow myself the good things that life can bring

I will allow myself to have a good time

I will allow myself to be who am and not have to apologize for it

I think this is all so simple - Why would I try to commit to changing my mind, body, soul, solve global warming and world hunger when I can decide instead that I will learn to like myself for who I am? I can still try to be a better person to myself and others but I refuse to list 10 single points of failure, any of which I could find myself agonizing over in 30-60 days when I haven’t been able to bring it to fruition.

I’m attempting to make this year a year of positives and I hope you can do the same for yourself as well; that you grant yourself wishes and allow yourself to dream your dreams, even shoot for a few. I wish for everyone laughs and smiles and that you allow one other person to know who you really are and let them in to see the bad as well as all of the good.

Oh yeah, I resolve to find a good beach in the next couple of months…