NakedDenver rants without clothes

Is being a nudist hard work and if it is - should it be?

2011-04-14T19:40:00.005-06:00

So I’m back (again). We won’t say how long it’s been but it isn’t rocket science to look at the last entry and see that it has been some time. I started to think why I’ve been absent and came up with a few answers:

I sold a house
I moved into an apartment
I bought another house
I started to rebuild the house (it’s a dump)
A new position at work
My company was then acquired
That company was acquired

All told it’s been a busy year but I had to think - how did all of what transpired in that time take precedence over my pursuit of a naked lifestyle? In that time everything else I was focused on, all of the daily and weekly events, all of the mundane and not-so-mundane tasks pushed my wanting to be nude alone, to be naked with others, and my investigation of social nudism right out the window.

I began to think that nudism in some respects is hard work; we all have to overcome aspects of who and what we are. I suffer from periods of self-loathing and that restricts my social nudism and believe it or not I have an extremely difficult time making and keeping friends (always my fault, not theirs), which stunts my ability to sometimes reach out and meet others willing to share and create old and new experiences. Dusting and grocery shopping, bills and homework, landscaping, birthdays, the dentist, they all forced my private and social naked experiences into the boxes with all of the crap I’ve moved twice over the past two years.

I logged in today and see people on the internet sharing experiences in being naked, living freely - those who have the time and conviction in posting video interviews relaying their convictions on nudity, sharing little blurbs of what it’s like to walk down the street naked in San Francisco, or just those who invite us to an overview of their home nudism and welcome us briefly into a world that seems so easy and innocent and unscripted - just the way it should be.

I have to stop making this so difficult on myself and in some way I need to make this less of an event and more of an everyday part of my life; as simple and routine as brushing my teeth or making sure the garbage is down at the curb every Thursday. These days it actually seems easier for me to get dressed for the day than it does for me to be naked and that is wrong - yes weather and work and feeling like a pudgy 50-year old all take toll, but when you add it all up these are all just excuses and they need to be dealt with.

Over the next couple of weeks I hope to sort this all out again. It’s getting warmer in Denver and I’m demolishing my basement; if anyone wants to do a little naked demo let me know, it’ll help to break this nasty trend I’ve been in.

Oh -are there any naked Heating and Cooling experts out there?

Nude beach trepidation - damn, again?

2010-03-09T21:43:00.003-07:00

I’ve been through this before; the minute I book a vacation (and all vacations over the past 5-6 years have been nude vacations), there’s a feeling of anxiety that takes over. No sooner have I clicked on that Expedia button to confirm my flight and then booked my hotel do I start to see every other man who possesses what I do not - the six-pack abs, a chest twice the size of mine, calves and biceps and thighs and asses of men who’ve dedicated themselves to gym time and eschewed the burgers and fries that I manage to wolf down for dinner before moving on to do the laundry and other mundane chores.

I also notice the ease that others have, the complete confidence and effortlessness that others enjoy their time naked, without any recognition that another person could be judging them for their height or weight or age or choice of “modifications“. You can recognize these people; they walk the beach and you can tell that they are enjoying the sun and wind and they don’t notice any glances made towards them, or if they do they don’t think for a moment that someone may be picking out any flaws with their body, or else they just don’t care…

It’s so funny how I think that everyone else at any given time on a nude beach is beautiful in their own way and if I could talk to each and everyone of them I would, if for no other reason but to acknowledge or our common enjoyment of the complete freedom that comes with a clothing-optional lifestyle. I would share with them my thoughts of wanting to be able to live in complete freedom and just share with them how nice it is to be in this brotherhood of people.

I still haven’t learned completely how to do that.

I still have problems with myself naked.

I have to admit that the first minutes on a nude beach are almost painful - there’s an unease, an apprehension when I first get naked, It’s age and gravity’s toll and genetics of being too tall and skinny. It’s a discomfort in being painfully, obviously Irish around tanned bodies, and it is two steps back emotionally because the vast majority of persons around me are shocked or put off by my choice of certain body art. None of these components should prohibit me from being at the beach enjoying the feelings that only nude recreation seems to bring me, yet the combinations of differences seem to make me feel as if I am some kind of naked piriah; tattoos would be ok if I was 20, being of pasty Celtic ancestry would be acceptable if I was really buff, and maybe being near 50 would be fine if I had those 6-pack abs (and a huge penis - a whole other esteem issue that warrants a page in and of itself).

I went through this last year before my vacation and sadly I have no time to get killer tan (not possible) or get those abs that others work on for 2 hours a day after work. Instead I have 14 days to quickly talk myself into truly accepting myself not only for how I look, and to ignore that others may be critical and possibly offended by my appearance. I have to really, really grasp that this should not prohibit me enjoying this time completely unencumbered.

Funny how I could tell any other person on earth hat none of this matters because it doesn’t matter.

Someone just remind me that it doesn’t matter ;>)

Has Stephen gone to far?

2010-02-20T22:26:00.004-07:00

As nudists, most of us have heard of Stephen Gough. Tales of the Naked Rambler first surfaced in 2003 when he began crossing between the southwestern and northeastern tips of Great Britain, all while naked. The first crossing of the island was almost considered comical by all - a naked man walking across England tempered negative news of wars and economic depression and pain around the world. For a while there were few who held Stephen’s naked journey with contempt but instead it was almost as though his walk was the innocent traverse made by a man who wanted to be clothes-free, and as far as England was concerned there was no real harm done as he wound his way from Land’s End to John o’Groats.

Then Stephen Gough started to do it again.

So frequent have Gough’s immediate disrobings landed him in jail, resulting in as many Contempt of Court and Breach of Peace charges that he now faces life imprisonment for his naked civil disobedience.

Many people who shared Stephen Gough’s views, while not following suit, cheered him on and even stood by him through his first few incarcerations. However each time Gough was released he refused to clothe himself and with each new charge it seems the vast numbers of nudist organizations that once cheered on his efforts of body freedom fell silent, as if to say enough is enough - you're calling too much attention to us.

Has this man gone too far in trying to promote his right in being able to live a clothes-free lifestyle? Has he fallen from grace because many of us profess that we want to be able to choose when we are undressed, but none of can imagine walking out our front door naked and then turning the corner of our street that way? Is it because we state we want a clothing-optional lifestyle but we don’t like it when our wants are thrust onto the front pages of the news based on another person's actions, and the man responsible for this lays in solitary confinement in a Scottish prison?

I think that many do feel Stephen Gough has crossed the line, only because the minute his expression of body freedom became illegal and the frequency of his transgressions called into question his motives and mental stability, many organizations once vocally in favor of this man fell quiet out of concern of how the public’s opinion of this one person might now impact the status of “legal” nudism.

In essense, nudists have become concerned with the non-nudists view of us based on their comments and actions in response to Mr. Gough's exteme fight for equality.

We cannot allow this man to sit in prison without him knowing that we are pulling for him and recognize the great lengths to which he has gone in fighting for his freedoms. I admit readily to saying I would like to be naked at anytime and that I should have the right to do so, yet when I think of what it would be like to walk out my door naked, go to the corner, and then keep going, fully aware how people (including fellow nudists) would be standing in judgment of me and how the legal ramifications of these actions would impact me, well lets just say that I couldn’t fill Gough’s boots.

Contributions and well-wished for Stephen can be found by going to the following link:
http://www.nakedwalk.org/

Has Stephen Gough gone to far? If you ask me he went this far for us and quite possibly we haven’t gone far enough for him.

News feed - Search for items marked "nudist"

2010-02-11T22:29:00.004-07:00

Well before I came out of the “clothing-optional” closet, long before the fist visit to a nude beach, naked cocktail party, and long before the first naked dare, I went on the internet and started seeking out other persons who had this undying need to be naked. With ever-advancing technology the search has become easier to find other nudists/naturists as well as scanning for events and news involving us.

Or so I thought.

Everyday I scan my inbox looking for something of value - something that tells me that we are making headway with our rights or at least that our wants and needs are being vocalized in a manner that presents us as deserving individuals. I look for news that we’re wishing and fighting for privileges that allow us broader freedoms, allowing us to think of something other than immediately needing to lower the blinds in our own homes before we take off our tops and bottoms.

These days my inbox is filled with stories of the latest NBA player whose nude cell photo has made its way from an admirer’s phone onto the internet or the ingénue’s public statement that either she’s so liberal she’d do a nude scene in her next movie or else that she’s too moral to ever consider it.

Not really nudist news if you ask me.

I keep looking for press releases from local, national, and international nudist organizations about growing enrollments, about what they recognize as the next lost liberty, about the latest beach to lose nude status, and coverage about the man seen naked in his own home being charged with indecent exposure and jailed.

I’ve stated before that we should all consider joining nudist and naturist organizations and I still feel this way. It may be difficult for many to find one they fully agree with or one that they feel represents their type of nudism. It may be hard as a home-nudist when you feel that aligning with a public organization doesn’t yield any personal benefits and even more it may cause feelings that a personal threshold has been crossed, and sometimes that’s a very scary thing. But I suggest that we use these organizations for two reasons; we use them as a vehicle for each and every one of us to be counted as a woman or man that requires certain rights that we feel are currently not available to us (or are being eroded slightly every day), and that we ask these organizations become cohesive with one another in representing us more publicly in order for a stronger voice to be heard. I know in this day and age $20.00, $30.00, or $50.00 is often needed for food or utilities or that there may be concerns about taking your own personal nudism to the next step in participating with any organization in any manner, but I think we must join and then we must start the public dialogue.

We have to join hands and unite voices, and whether we do so with our real names and faces and bodies or we do so with aliases via the internet, we collectively have to fight for our rights while preventing the few we have from slipping from our hands.

Now, the next time I see some real news about us I’ll pass it your way…

I’m back, with apologies

2010-02-07T20:31:00.003-07:00

So I’m back; it’s been almost a year without having posted anything to this blog or having spoken with the people I met by starting it, and I have to admit writing this one is tough - I’ve thought of doing it for a couple of weeks now but like all difficult things I have a tendency to procrastinate when something’s not joyful or fun.

What’s not fun is that I have to apologize to everyone who ever read the blog or contacted me about it because I now have to explain my reason for having been absent, not only from the blog but also for having abandoned what I believe in.

Early last year I started seeing someone and during the relationship I basically deserted nudism in favor of a relationship with a person that did not believe in it.

Now I’m back after that door has closed and I’ve had a little time for the pain to the softern the loss.

I’m not proud for having let a person I care about change me, not proud for wanting to be with a person that wouldn’t accept what I was about, and in the end I still am having to determine which was worse - my wanting to be with someone so much that I would be with a person who wanted me to change so drastically or the fact that I did change and gave up a small part of myself to reach for something I believed might be more important.

Finding someone who accepts you for who you are is important - I hope I’ve learned my lesson.

I must look back and determine why I felt I needed someone else so much that I allowed them to alter me. It’s not the first time I have taken two steps back in personal growth, hoping that this one might be the one, putting my own wants and needs aside. Compromise is one thing, but giving up the way you want to live and who you want to be is more than compromise, it’s desperation…

During the past 10 months I’ve bought a house, had the company I work for purchased by a multi-million dollar publicly-held corporation, and ended what I thought might be a last chance at happiness.

Some good changes and some bad changes, plenty of fodder for a blog.

My apologies to you for dropping of the face of the earth without a word - too bad because many of you, more than friends and family who have known me for a lifetime, understand me.

I think it's nice to be back.

A codpiece is better than full-frontal - REALLY????

2009-06-20T16:02:00.008-06:00

Ahhhh - June 14: the world-wide date for the World Naked Bike Ride, an innocent gesture to get people to take notice of our unhealthy consumption of non-renewable resources. This year over 70 cities organized events whereas naked riders peddle through their city to landmark a dependence on oil and it's negative impacts.

But not in Boulder, Colorado.

In Boulder the warnings started early; any person exposing themselves fully would lead to receiving a charge of indecent exposure and as I have pointed out before, a charge of indecent exposure in the state of Colorado is an immediate mark against that person as a sexual predator, resulting in said person's requirement of registering as a sex offender.

The Denver Post states that everyone behaved themselves - well they had to when threats of a felony charge which would impact the rest of their lives were thrown at them.

Now Boulder has always been more carefree, more liberal, more tolerant the Denver. In fact, although Denver attempted the guise of a local event, truth is that Boulder is about the only city in Colorado that could pull it off - that is until Boulder city officials and police threatened to levy the devastating charges against riders should they disrobe. I guess I'll have to stop thinking of Boulder as that fun-loving, live-and-let-live city that was always so much more progressive and accepting than Denver could be.

The Denver Post reports that people were in underwear, swimwear and there was even a creative codpiece or two. They did allow women to go top-free, I guess there has been some progress made in realizing that at least the top half of your body isn't dirty or something to be ashamed of. If only we can get people to realize there is nothing with the rest of your body then we might get someplace - and tell me that a codpiece isn't a little more demanding of attention than a plain ol' penis...

I will admit I didn't even entertain participating this year based on these reports (coupled with the incidents at last years Pumpkin Run) which is sad as at 6'6" I drive an economical car, I recycle, and I've given up my house and yard for a more energy and water efficient apartment - but I have to live somewhere and have no desire to posted on a national website with a label that is best worn by rapists and pedophiles, resulting in my being drawn and quartered by my building-mates.

I was at Haulover Beach in April for 10 days and the experience was great. Legal, social nakedness with no fear of repercussion is the most freeing and liberating joy you can experience (sans sex). Colorado does not allow for this freedom and I still have yet to understand why, although it is good to know that I can hop on my bike in my skivvies and be left alone.

Maybe I'll hit San Francisco or Portland next June - I hear there were no arrests and no codpieces.

A link to the Denver Post article has been included for your reference:

http://www.denverpost.com/search/ci_12587273

T-minus 10 and counting…

2009-04-01T20:30:00.011-06:00

In ten days I head to Miami and in as many days I will be on the sand at Haulover Beach. From what I can ascertain it’s one of the top 10 nude beaches in the world and I’m to the point where I am practically counting the hours.

Now every nude beach that I’ve been to has a different feel; San Onofre is relaxed and mellow and if you break away from the small legal area, you can walk the shores of the Pacific immediately under Camp Pendleton for miles in the early morning without encountering another sole. Baker Beach is cool, breezy and not for those with any reservations about being seen; unmarked in it’s legal status and with a stellar view of the Golden Gate Bridge, you can be 1 of 5 nudists swarmed by hundreds of unknowing and unsuspecting tourists and if you‘ve got issues with being in the public view this might not be the beach for you. Sandy Hook is a free-for-all for East Coasters and tourists, and with a far view of New York City it produces a throng that may either embrace you or simply look through you, depending on how they feel that day.

I’m anxious about Haulover for two reasons; First, it is always interesting to step foot onto a new beach and gauge the ambiance, the vibe that the beach and its inhabitants produce. Secondly (in my opinion) this beach is possibly the most publicly visible beach, overlooked by some of Florida’s most expensive and coveted high-rise real estate.

Now the second part intrigues me more - as a nudist which feels our access to public lands is unduly limited and that nudity should never be considered nasty or illegal, I have no issue with the thought of being seen by any of Miami’s clothed elite while naked, or being surrounded by those visitors experiencing the much, much larger textile portion of Haulover. But, even with legal status it must be a little like being on display and for someone who has a little bit of a penchant for being naked where he shouldn’t be, I’m very much ok with this.

Nude beaches fulfill so much for so many of us; A place to feel the warmth of the sun and an ocean breeze on your body, a place to feel unencumbered and a place to see and be with others like us - to nod your head to the others that have to live like me, fully clothed when we’d prefer not to be. Being naked is so important to me that I don’t know if I could ever take a vacation where it wasn’t part of the itinerary; couple this with the support of nude organizations which keep me apprised of our status and assist in allowing us to be counted and I feel that I’m doing my small part.

So my hope is to take my laptop and provide a 10-day view of Haulover. I’m bringing carry-on luggage because when you visit a nude beach, you only need be concerned with adequate clothing to get to and from the beach and maybe be prepared for a dinner or two - I think I can get the trusty computer in there as well. So I’ve told myself to document the days activities so they can be remembered. I hope to talk about the feel of the beach and the people I meet and my impression of naked Miami, maybe even see if there’s anyplace else to drop my trousers, because as a man wanting more to do naked it’s always fun to push the envelope.

I’ll bring my camera too.

Now if anyone in Miami reads this and is at Haulover when I lay out my towel, say hi when you see me there…

It’s time for the wearin’ of the green…

2009-03-13T22:17:00.004-06:00

So Tuesday is St. Patrick’s Day, and yes - with a name like Kevin Patrick it is expected, well required, to celebrate the wearin’ of the green. In Denver, our Paddy’s Day parade is on Saturday so tonight I’m getting the kilt ready.

Yep - I will be wearing a kilt tomorrow to the parade, just as I have done for the past 5 years.

Now how come I can feel comfortable on a nude beach but I don’t feel comfortable on the streets in a kilt?

And did I mention I have 6 of them?

I envy men that can pull them off. I wear them when I’m going out sometimes and on St’ Patrick’s day. I’ve seen other men wear them and they don’t care who looks at them and how they are perceived which is the reason I started buying them. I wanted them as a replacement for jeans sometime - I mean how cool is it to show up in kilt and not care what other people think of it? More so, I wanted to be a man secure enough to wear one. My problem seems to be that most men that have the guts to wear them look great in them and I’m still not quite sure I do. If you’re big and muscular and attractive and look like you don’t give a damn and would kick anyone’s ass for calling it a skirt you’ll be fine - be a tall, skinny, bald, middle-age queer and maybe you’re not pulling it off, maybe you’re a wanna be…

I exchanged a couple of emails with a guy on Blogger when I first started and I quickly became leery. This kid is 20-something, straight, attractive, and a nudist and I’ll be god-damned if he doesn’t wear a kilt when he has to put something on; Now I don’t want to be the stereotypical gay man by coughing up one-liners from old movies but to quote Scarlett, I was pea-green with envy.

I mean really, some guys get all the luck.

No really - a handsome kid that looks good in a kilt and isn’t worried at all about what other people think.

Some guys really do get all the luck.

Really.

I’m pulling out the kilt right after this rant and I will wear it but with a little remorse. This sentiment isn’t because I don’t have the best calves or because I really am Irish and right about now I’m as lily-white as they come, and a tan could do nothing but help this situation. No, I am remorseful because this 20-something kid is right because he truly doesn’t care about how he looks in a kilt or even realize that he’s one of those lucky people that can get away with just about anything - it’s because this kid wears it because he likes it and he doesn’t care what other people think and more than anything I am striving to be that type of person.

Envy sucks - It’s the one nasty emotion I feel as a nudist sometimes and now it’s surfaced because I passed an email or two to this very nice kid who just dropped in on my blog to say hey…

So to my kilted friend, I’ll work on the envy and attempt to mirror the ease with which you live your life and follow your passions, and realize that since you stopped by only to share a word about our beliefs in body-freedom I should remember that since you didn’t shriek at the way I looked naked maybe I should stop worrying about everything so much.

Eric, my naked buddy, stay regimental or better yet, be naked and thanks for maybe teaching an old man a lesson.

Naked social networking on the internet or: How to make friends and piss off people in 12 easy steps.

2009-03-11T12:31:00.001-06:00

Now anyone who’s been to this site could easily glean one thing; Kevin is feeling a little lonely and looking for friends. Kevin also likes to be naked and likes other people that are comfortable with this.

So Kevin goes onto the web in all of his glory (well, not so much glory but I did put it all out there) and I start to interact with people across the globe via the worldwide web. I’ve had exchanges with men and women in other states and other countries and for the most part, I’ve had a blast. I love the diversity in people who all share a small common bond but allow that bond to open up new relationships, regardless of all the differences in their lives. I don’t want everyone to be just like me and I am so glad there are others out in the world that embrace the variety others can bring into their day - the challenges and perspectives that someone else can present – beliefs and ideologies and experiences that make me ponder and question and learn...

And boy is I learning.

Let’s cover the bad part of naked social networking first:

If you want to have a conversation over a web cam, please make sure that we’re going to have a conversation and that I would be able to see your face, not just your genitalia. I personally appreciate genitalia and I am by no means prude, but on our first interaction let me see a face with a smile, and then ask me if I’m looking to watch you jerk-off - that’s the only request I make. I’m sorry if I make anyone mad and by no means am I saying this is inappropriate behavior between adults, it’s just that I want a little more.

Yes, Kevin is naïve.

But now the good part:

After going onto a site where I have a profile posted (and after shutting down IM to avoid pop-ups inquiring about joint masturbation sessions), I received a post regarding my profile; it was open and friendly and inquisitive and complimentary. I responded to this person and then the dialogue started to go back and forth. With each response, I found myself wanting to express more, say more about myself and learn more about this person in return. There were topics which made my replies exceed my approved allotment of characters in that darn little text box, and every new thread seemed to make each of us want to know more and share more of each others life and experiences and opinions.

I really like it when you feel you have something to look forward to each day because a new and interesting person has entered your life, digitally or otherwise.

New friend; thanks for being the highlight of a crappy day yesterday.

Now, since this person is happily married, it always brings up the topic of whether people who meet in this kind of climate can truly just be friends. I’m trying to be adult and say yes, but we all know what kinds of things can happen. I think I’ve already admitted I wear my heart on my sleeve and am the first to admit I misread peoples intentions and comments on an hourly basis – If we talk and I ask you to explain yourself or request that you be blunt, I’m doing this to prevent myself from making a bad assumptions, not because I’m stupid.

Okay – I can be stupid.

Anyway, here’s to new friends, the joys of naked surfing, and looking forward to opening your inbox…

End segregation now

2009-03-03T21:45:00.003-07:00

So I took a little hiatus.

Not from blogging or anything else in particular, just kind of took a break from human interaction; at work I was more quiet and I found myself not participating in social environments and found myself holed up at home during the weekends just not wanting to talk to people. I’ve been this way from time to time all of my life and the people around me have come to accept it. I am now back to being my normal, overly-caffeinated self again

I’ve decided that after a rather interesting year I’m giving myself a well-deserved vacation and that means someplace I can curl up on a beach and read and just generally be lazy for 6-7 days. I’ve starting looking at Haulover beach and I think that next month I’ll treat myself to a week there. I’ve been researching it and it sounds like it’s one of the most diverse and unified beaches in the US. After a week of internally debating about being fiscally responsible (paying my car loan off) or spending a week with a bunch of other naked people, well I have to tell you that I am pretty sure that being naked is going to win.

Now, I am always slightly torn whenever I look into taking a trip to a nude beach, as there always seems to be one last mark of segregation still affecting us-

Which side is the straight side and which is the gay side?

First of all, please let me tell you that I am not “Pollyannaish” about the state of racism in these United States, however you won’t find any beach directories telling you which is the black side or the white side - at least we’re getting better about that even though we have a long way to go still in terms of racial equality.

With that said, when I tell you that I’m torn I have to re-emphasize that I’m a gay man, but unless you and I are in a gay bar and you buy me a drink and tell me that you’d like to get to know me better, then I assume you’re straight. So when I go to a beach I am conflicted in that yes, it is great to be among your own, to be safe with others that are like you and maybe you even think that if you start talking with someone you are at least approaching someone within your own dating pool. But when I go to a beach and talk with others enjoying the sun and the surf and the breeze, I like to think that I don’t exclude the chance to met wonderful, funny, insightful people that I might exclude myself from should I look for the area predominately full of men on rainbow-colored towels and then set my own towel among them.

My first trip to a legal nude beach was to Sandy Hook in New Jersey and I had done due diligence before I went, knowing exactly which side of the beach I was supposed to station myself on and I did such. I spent most of the day alone, not talking to anyone until I walked to a concessions stand. On may way, and by a chance encounter, I started talking with a family and ended up having the best afternoon. It wasn’t until after we said goodbye and thanked one another for the day that I realized I had broken the boundary that I thought would give me comfort; to this day I am still conflicted when I step foot on the sand at then end of my destination and have to decide between going left or going right.

Someone want to fix this for me? So far, the only thing that I can come up with is to lay down in the middle so I get to enjoy the people on both sides.

Is age relevant?

2009-01-21T20:43:00.007-07:00

So I’m having another birthday. I closing in on 50; if I reach out with my hand I can touch it and even though I admire this age on others (50 is the new 40), it doesn’t seem to be reaching back to me with a warm embrace but instead with a big, fat, ugly wrinkle stick.

Over the course of a couple of years I’ve been able to interact with others socially a number of times naked, and more and more I seem to be the eldest participant. When I realize this I often wonder if I should gracefully back away from the group and just put my pants on - for some reason or another I often find myself pondering that maybe I should just this leave kind of recreation to the firmer, shapelier, tauter 20-somethings, because we’ve all heard this before: “nudists are never the people that you want to see naked”.

Does age matter when you want to be naked? I know that when I see an older person at a nude beach I think it’s a wonderful thing. I think older bodies are beautiful; each wrinkle and line shows another experience in his or her life, whether good or bad, that this person was able to maneuver and survive. That person’s ability to shed their clothes regardless of how their body looks is a testament to core beliefs and self-assurance, and with age comes wisdom; talk to this person and you get stories and history - little pearls that you can use yourself later in life.

I was looking at pictures of me at one of these gatherings and I stand out - it’s not the tattoos or the metal or my height. I’m not the only bald guy, the only skinny guy, but I am the oldest guy. As the oldest person I sat back and thought that if I were missing from the picture it might appear more natural somehow, and that with me included it almost seems as though I was an outsider trying to fit in.

I don’t know what this all means. Maybe I need to be less of a nudist trying to be naked anytime I can, wherever I can. Should I now confine myself to interacting with nudists my own age in more acceptable places - that little group on the beach surrounded by all the young bucks and does, or do I need to work harder at looking “good” for my age?

I think these must be the questions that all nudists and naturists must ask themselves - I guess for the most part these are the questions that we all ask ourselves as we get older.

I’m going to try very hard to be one of those “seniors” that we see on the beach - the older man or woman that seems not to have a care in the world regardless of a little sagging and creasing. I also need to figure out why age or a little extra weight seems to weigh heavy on mind when I always profess the opposite to others.

Maybe I just need to find more people my age that don’t care about wrinkles and gravity and don’t mind being a little out of place in the picture…

Another step outside of the ol’ comfort zone

2009-01-13T21:07:00.005-07:00

So we’re all out here - you’re either like me or you’re curious about people like me or you’re bored or you may even just need a laugh at the expense of someone who looks different or has different beliefs - it’s all good and even though the thought of being the butt of a joke made by someone completely anonymous to me bothers me sometimes - it’s a small price for meeting new people and being honest to one’s self.

So self I say, why am I not out in the thick of things?

I used to be - look at the picture and you can see that I used to be pretty adventurous; I mean you don’t get naked in front of a mall for god’s sake without being a willing to put yourself out there. This picture (and others) are a couple of years old and when I did them I felt alive. Taking these pictures meant I was different and edgy and went against the grain. Taking these pictures made me feel as if I had overcome years of always blending into the wall at social events (really, just blending in on a day-to-day basis), and never having any in my life that gave me bragging rights. Doing these pictures gave me the sense that I could actually stand up for rights and freedoms I truly believe in my heart we should have, and it made me feel strong and individual and proud.

So why do I still feel so all alone in this?

I said I found a group that seemed to be like me - acknowledging and celebrating body-freedom and individuality regardless of age, sex, body type. I’ve inserted myself into that group, albeit quietly, with the validation that I can put my money where my mouth is, all with no direct contact back from any of the other participants. Now I know that this all takes time; even with the guaranteed anonymity of the Internet there is still some reluctance in approaching people directly - I know this because I am just as guilty of this as are many, many other people who’d like to reach out to somebody , but for some reason pull back.

We’re all so different and I know that there is a lot about me that most people may not like. There are visible and personal attributes that may make people think twice about contact, things that could make people think we could have less in common than more so they just move on. I do this as well and I think it’s time for me to stop. I’d like to feel more alive again and me using excuses about my age or appearance should not hold me back. Even if I think that I have few shared interests with a person I stumble upon out here on the net, I should reach out if to do nothing more than say hello.

If you get a note from me, know that I just wanted to reach out to someone who peaked my interest, who shared an experience (good or bad) that I identified with, or made me laugh or smile.

And yes, the camera will be coming back out soon if for nothing else then to give a good laugh to someone else…

New Year’s Resolutions

2009-01-06T21:08:00.003-07:00

So I never try to do this to myself; set unreasonable requirements against myself so as the year progresses and my goals are unattained and I feel as though I have failed.

Failure sucks.

Failure sucks more when you can’t blame it on anyone other than yourself.

Instead of setting myself up for failure by defining unrealistic ambitions which would only result in an increase in the bad habits that I am attempting to change (I can‘t stop smoking and when I can‘t I smoke more), so I’ve decided to make resolutions that I can keep by resolving to allow myself a few things:

I will allow myself the good things that life can bring

I will allow myself to have a good time

I will allow myself to be who am and not have to apologize for it

I think this is all so simple - Why would I try to commit to changing my mind, body, soul, solve global warming and world hunger when I can decide instead that I will learn to like myself for who I am? I can still try to be a better person to myself and others but I refuse to list 10 single points of failure, any of which I could find myself agonizing over in 30-60 days when I haven’t been able to bring it to fruition.

I’m attempting to make this year a year of positives and I hope you can do the same for yourself as well; that you grant yourself wishes and allow yourself to dream your dreams, even shoot for a few. I wish for everyone laughs and smiles and that you allow one other person to know who you really are and let them in to see the bad as well as all of the good.

Oh yeah, I resolve to find a good beach in the next couple of months…

Happy Holidays

2008-12-23T20:56:00.001-07:00

Regardless of who you are and what your beliefs, here’s wishing you the best of this holiday season with health, prosperity, and joy in the coming new year...

Now off to my dysfunctional crazy family -

pray for me

There is someone out there like me, but now what the hell do I do?

2008-12-18T22:17:00.003-07:00

So there are others out there like me and I have no idea what to do.

When I started this blog my idea was to put myself out there in an attempt to “force” myself to be who I thought I was and to be the person that I wanted to be, and in doing so I began my quest to find others out there like myself. I must sound repetitious here but to be amongst others like you, to surround yourself with peers, must feel like a homecoming of sorts…

You would think that scanning the internet for my peers would be easy but it hasn’t been. I consider myself to be somewhat well-rounded - yes the focus of this blog seems to be geared towards freedom in a sense that a great many people wouldn’t subject themselves to and there is a great emphasis on complete freedom (or at least as much as a society will allow, coupled with my push to get just a little bit more and then some). As I searched for groups or individuals their focus didn’t always seem to be as blended as I thought mine to be - their needs seemed almost to be always specifically political, sexual, geographical, or individually motivated and I always thought my beliefs to be a combination of all of these things.

To be honest, the discouragement of being a man alone in his wants and needs almost became isolating.

And then I found them - the others like me.

I found them on the internet, tucked away in their own little corner, unadvertised and not promoted by pop-ups or annoying requests for my credit card number with the promise of discreet billing. Instead they were in a free little niche of the electronic highway and they seem to be a welcoming and somewhat diverse and accepting bunch.

As I rummaged around this site, overwhelmed that there are others with the same wants and needs, I found someone so like myself the resemblance was uncanny, almost scary - not so much in a physical sense although that is the first thing that caught my eye, but so like me in wants and needs and accomplishments that I couldn’t pull myself away from my computer. Here is a person that lives what I profess to want, and when there is a moment that you think goals and desires are unattainable and you see a reflection of yourself that has what you want, does what you want to do and looks content in doing so, you think that maybe you can and should be as true to yourself as you possibly can and pursue a life whether others qualify it as unconventional or abnormal.

I haven’t approached this group but I will - Instead of rushing in I want to savor the moment and revel in my find almost as if it were a treasure to be respected.

Now this group and myself, maybe we’re freaks, maybe we take things less seriously, maybe we all need to buck authority for some reason stemming from our pasts, at least we are still unique but not alone. I hope to make friends or at least learn how these people honor what seems to be the driving forces that I am comprised of - maybe someone is close to me or maybe not but I hope this group is as they appear - I’ll attempt to reach out to them and if I’m lucky maybe my mirror image, that person that seems to be so much like me that it bothers me may just reach back.

Stepping outside the box, or just why the hell am I in the hallway nekkid?

2008-12-09T22:08:00.007-07:00

Being naked is nothing for a lot of people; it’s natural and easy and casual and means nothing other than an absence of clothes, while to others the discomfort of being naked means they cannot look at themselves in the mirror alone in the privacy and safety of their on home and when they do catch that awful glimpse it brings them only pain and self-loathing.

Negative self-image is a bitch.

Society is a bitch.

I am maybe the last person that should be advocating freedom like this - look at the picture and you can see a million reasons why I would never be selected as the poster boy for any naturalist/nudist/clothes-free/body-freedom organization and I know each and everyone one of those reasons and trust me, I repeat a number of these to myself every single day - if you feel the need to point any of these out to me via email or IM I’ve already beat you to the punch this morning when I got out of the shower so don’t bother.

Ok, so negative self-image is a bitch and society is a bitch and right now I’ve really stopped caring because I’ve cared for too long and quite frankly I’m rather tired of it and so should everyone else.

I hate the argument that “society dictates that…”. Now society dictates a great deal of good things: laws that protect our safety and freedoms, common courtesy, no nose-picking in public, but I guess that in some way it does dictate the premise that men should have no more than 5% body fat and women are too big if they wear anything bigger than a size 6.

I’m calling bullshit and so should you.

I like men with pot-bellies and would prefer they have more body hair than a boy waiting for the onset of puberty. I think that women should have curves and that means hips and ass and thighs and I am not lying when I think as both sexes get older that wrinkles exhibit character and strength, showing the world years of joy, accomplishment and pain that we all traverse yet should wear as a badge of honor as we overcome obstacles and grow stronger from having done so.

So I stepped outside the box and went into the hallway naked.

Small step but I felt like I was saying that I accept skinny calves, a sagging ass and average penis size as something that I am and nothing short of a miracle is ever going to change those things. I am 46 and I think that it’s high time I stopped worrying about society’s perception of my physical being, learn to accept it, and spend more time improving my inner self. I want to be loved by friends and family for my humor and grace in the face of adversity and my willingness to help pick someone up when they fall and not for any physical quality whether god-given, purchased or earned with blood, sweat and tears.

I just threw out my last copy of Men’s Health and I suggest you throw out any magazine that makes you feel inadequate or ugly and promise to only make changes for your health or well being, not because you think society says you have to have 6-packs abs to get the job or spouse of your dreams.

Now, I would still consider trying to get 6-pack abs if it’d get me laid but that is a whole other entry some night.

Screw looking good naked, trying liking yourself instead.

Remote testing day, or how I got to work naked this Wednesday

2008-12-04T22:16:00.012-07:00

I love the company that I work for. Great product, fun and intelligent people in a fostering environment, good pay, and a stellar boss who supports me in every way - all of which makes me extremely lucky and I hope that everyone I work with or for knows this. Now working in Denver, this company also has to be prepared for poor weather and has provided employees with remote access; in the event of extreme weather we can open all of our systems and even accept calls in the comfort of our homes - there is nothing I can do in my office that I can’t do from my dining room table, with the exception of throwing koosh balls at the back of some poor unsuspecting sap’s head.

Now I have to admit I like to go to work - I love to chat with my co-workers, some of which have become my closest friends and know more about me than my family, and I really have to be honest that I like the coffee there too. The fact that I can suck gallons of the stuff for free all while being with people I care about and doing a job that I like is pretty damn good, when you figure that every two weeks they fork over a fair amount of dough to me for doing this.

But then I got to work naked.

On December 3rd we tested our remote access by having all mission-critical employees work from home. On December 2nd I walked into my home and suddenly realized that for the next 36 hours I’d get to be naked.

The bliss set in.

When I got up on December 3rd I took a shower, brushed my teeth, and that was the end of getting ready for work. I talked to co-workers, answered emails and did other work stuff all naked. There were a couple of funny comments on my office IM message which read “No Pants Remote Day” and was accompanied by a picture of an empty pair of jeans, but nothing else was abnormal in my dealings with my buddies as they couldn’t see me, although a good number of them knew that my IM statement was most likely not an inaccuracy. I ate lunch naked, I typed naked, and most importantly I didn’t have to worry about getting the inevitable coffee stain out of shirt at the end of the day (when you drink gallons of this crap you always end up wearing some) but there was no shirt to be dealt with.

I have to admit I missed the personal interaction I have with my friends - people who every day give 100 percent because we believe in what we do and who we do it if for and who we do it with, but it was also really nice to not worry about pressing a shirt, shiny shoes and whether pleated pants show that I am reticent to cross over to plain-fronts because the make me look anorexic. Social nudity would cut down on dry-cleaning and I for one think that anything that cuts down on dry-cleaning costs is damn swell. I also have to admit it was just too cool to hop out of the shower and into the work day with not much preparation in between the two tasks.

Could I work remote from time to time and get this feeling more often? I bet my boss would let me but I would miss her and my best friend and cohort in crime too much, and for what I would save in dry-cleaning I’d lose in my bulk purchases of Dazbog Svoboda blend coffee in order to fuel my addiction.

Working naked would be nice, I would just have to find an office that would allow it and had the same caliber of people - I’ll never find that and a place that lets me drink that much premium coffee without charging back on my paycheck, so I guess I’ll have to stick with 36 hours of being unencumbered whenever remote testing day rolls around...

P.S.

Best friend and cohort in crime: You know who you are and I love you.

Florida votes with their pants on, or just what the heck does the world really think of us nudists?

2008-11-26T23:31:00.014-07:00

After what must appear to have been a pity-party in my last entry I decided that I was going to continue on looking for others like me. I thought I’d break it down to a more personal level and start searching blogs - surely people like Naked Denver are posting as well, each of us struggling to get our thoughts out there and be true to our fundamental need to feel as though we are not alone.

I have to admit I was a little discerned when a blog search of nudist presented me with more than three pages of blogs which had entries posted that referenced news articles in which Florida nudists had petitioned for the right to vote naked. I have to tell you (maybe I don’t) that the blogs I referenced either had a negative view or made a mockery of the request and I have yet to stumble onto one blog that made a positive comment about the effort made within the sunshine state.

OK - I’ve lied to you, I found some but all of those were comments made on nudist’s blogs, I never, ever found a positive comment made on the topic in a blog that was NOT written by a nudist or naturist - forgive me for not being journalistically accurate in attempting to make my point…

After I stopped cursing hard-core textiles for their limited views I started to really think about the situation; I believe that the Florida residents that took up the good fight knew they would not get their request approved, but it occurred to me that maybe these people realize that new battles like this must be taken on every day in order for us to maintain what little ground we currently have! Daily when I look for articles that might be relevant to the rights of nudists I see editorials that continually challenge what small freedoms we have yet almost never hear of new or broadened privileges, increased land access, or decreased fear of retribution and reprisal. When our right to be active in a clothes-free environment is called into question and that activity is challenged when it is on private land or in your own home, then people like the good naked citizens of Florida have no other option than to bring something new to the legislative table in order to keep the jackals at bay.

My hats off to the Floridians that fought for this because they did it not only for themselves but for me as well when I really didn’t realize it was my battle they were fighting, and my acceptance of the 30+ bloggers because even though I didn’t agree with or appreciate their comments they did keep the discussion going.

Maybe just one person out there realized the true battle that was being waged with this campaign and is reconsidering their position, even if they weren’t verbal about it.

And who knows, I just might get to vote President Obama into his second term when I’m buck-ass naked…

So where the hell is everyone or where does a nice, naked freak like me find a friend?

2008-11-24T22:03:00.010-07:00

I am sitting home thinking that I really ought to come up with another witty and urban posting for this blog; something tremendously funny yet socially relevant in order for all of you out there to be so captivated by my humor and charm that the emails would just roll in.

Either you’re all in bed or you have other things to do, like talk to your friends, family, spouses, children or various telemarketers should you not currently be registered on the national no-call list.

Yes, I’m hoping for a telemarketer to call right now…

The truth is that I have no friends with this like passion. I don’t answer my door naked and ask people to remove their pants and top in order to come in, nor have I shared my need to be naked with people at work, my family, neighbors or any persons I may casually meet and think highly of. So I thought to myself “Self, why not use that internet thing that you like so much and start to look for others like yourself…”

Self was not too lucky, hence the reason you get this entry.

Fact is, that as I started to search the internet for links with search commands like Denver nudist, Colorado nudist, desperate nudist seeks like, really really really desperate nudist will pay for friendship, PLEASE GOD SOMEBODY LIKE ME and other bites I wasn’t getting very lucky. There seem to be about three Colorado organizations for nudists and a 4-5 clothing-optional hot-springs 80+miles from my house (current Denver temperature a balmy 26 degrees, wheee doesn‘t that sound like fun). These organizations seem welcoming but the fact that I have to be interviewed because I am a single male (different dues as well and y’all won’t let me get married and ever get the chance to see my dues drop) which makes me feel that I have to qualify to be a nudist much like I have to be qualified to get a job. What if you don’t like the tattoos or the piercings or that I believe in naked activism? How comfortable am I going to feel when I walk into the room and I am the only single person in a group full of couples and children - yep, I’m gonna feel like the freak that I’ve felt like since I was 5 and I’ve worked too hard to go through that again.

I understand the need to meet and monitor new persons that join these organizations for the safety of all other members and please don’t get me wrong: every man, woman and child deserve the utmost safety in all situations but I have to think for one minute that policing our own to make sure we are all safe is a little different than having to pass the naked litmus test, because I’ll tell you now if you don’t like anything other than white bread chances are I won’t make it through the door.

Besides, it’s pretty sick that you make me pay more as a penance for not being able to find the right person to share my life - don’t you think that I feel bad enough about that as it is without hitting me in the wallet?

Sorry, I’m naked, I don’t have my wallet on me right now.

I know I sound bitter and I might be because there are other naked people out there talking with other naked people and I’m not.

I’ll try Google advanced search tomorrow….

What the hell have I done or OMG - Did you know that pictures get BIGGER when you click on them?????

2008-11-24T06:06:00.010-07:00

I have to admit that I was really proud of myself for stepping out of my comfort zone and posting myself on the internet and I mean ALL of myself on the internet.

I am not a good-looking man nor have I ever been. When I first started getting familiar with my naked self it was in the confines of my own home, safe from all of those that would judge me and the only negative comments I would get was when I had the bravery to look down (so often we are our own worst critics). With time I seemed to get more accepting of myself and my flaws and had the nerve to take my first vacation to a nude beach. I must admit that the freedom of being out in the open was liberating as was the ability to see that so many people like me, wanting to enjoy the warmth of summer sun and breezes on all of my skin yet I was greeted with two opposing realizations: one was joy to see all sorts of bodies, ages, races out enjoying a fine day, while the other was the resentment of all of those men and women with the perfect bodies who make the rest of us cringe just a little before we decide to ignore the tight abs and asses that have just passed by and get back to the feeling of freedom.

I thought that I was getting over the feelings of inadequacy and middle-agedness until yesterday…

Yesterday I posted a picture of myself that let it all hang and was intended to inform all others that I had truly arrived in the land of naked self-acceptance.

That was until I realized that when you click on said picture that it will be presented to you in the grand size of 280477 bytes, 1107 x 1600 pixels, which in my opinion is damn freakin’ large.
When this picture is opened to full size you get it: I’m 47, I have a little pot-belly that I was trying hard to suck in on that photo. You can see every pore, mark, blemish and wrinkle. When you look close you ascertain that I have a gut but no biceps, thank goodness you can’t see my calves because they are pretty sorry as well and I won‘t even comment on my sinking 47 year-old ass. Every part of my body that I have ever hated, ever wanted to cover up, ever felt inadequate about screams out in that photo and I had to fight my own demons from deleted the damn thing from the minute that I opened it up.

I’ve just recently met a new acquaintance on the internet with the same feelings on baring your body and baring your soul. This person is beautiful in every way and I realized what makes her so is her commitment to loving herself inside and out and this is apparent in her smile, her eyes, and her lack of self-consciousness when she is naked - just as it should be. I didn’t notice any flaws when I ran across her on the net; If she has them I’m not aware, however I still am envious of the look of innocence and joy when she is naked and the next time we pass an email I’ll have to ask her how she got there; I’d like to follow in her steps both to trace the path and to reach that destination.

So the picture stays as is: no resizing or cropping or cool soft-focus editing and I take another step in realizing that that we may all have defects and blemishes, some more apparent than others and some more amplified by our own fears until they are larger than life so we cannot look past them and cannot enjoy the day, the sun and the warm gentle breeze.

The picture stays and on the next warm day I promise to enjoy the wind…

Harmless Halloween fun or how Boulder wants to make innocent young men and women sex offenders…

2008-11-23T10:05:00.002-07:00

In thinking that there is nothing wrong with a little naked fun and knowing just how diverse Boulder, Colorado can be, runners in the harmless Halloween event that streak down the Pearl Street Mall wearing nothing but carved jack-o-laterns on their heads are now facing criminal charges with indecent exposure that under Colorado law would require that these persons register as sex offenders.

During this event Pearl Street is lined with people who have come to expect a small segment of runners wanting to have a little fun since the 1999 to run down the street naked while attempting to balance hollowed out pumpkins in the cold Colorado evening on October 31.

It seems to me inexplicable that a groups of streakers who decided to participate in an inoffensive run that I might add is rapidly becoming a yearly tradition and helps to provide Boulder with a certain cache of a carefree and diverse city, could even possibly be considered close to what I label a sexual predator.

Throughout time men, women and children have been raped, molested, abused and exploited making their lives hell and halting forever the ability to have normal relationships and a healthy view of themselves and the people around them. So explain this to me Lucy, how in the world does something as innocent and totally non-violent and non-sexual as a late night streak ever get qualified in the same breath as rape or molestation?

I contend there is something wrong with Boulder and the rest of the world when they decide to focus on something as trivial and light-hearted as this when daily thousands if not millions of people face inexplicable intolerance and pain at the hands of others. I hope that Boulder and all other cities that react in this manner take just a moment to reflect on their priorities and then maybe get off of their asses and start dealing with those issues that need dealing with and helping those persons that are truly being hurt and mistreated, accepting the Pumpkin Run for the harmless cultural event that it is

I’ve provided the link to the Pumpkin Run site as well as the link to the last Rocky Mountain News article on the 2008 run:

http://nakedpumpkinrun.org/
http://www.rockymountainnews.com/news/2008/nov/07/sex-charge-worries-streaker/

I’ve also archived the RMN article in the event that the link should become expired

Throwing my naked self up on the internet

2008-11-22T20:52:00.006-07:00

So here I am ready to make my first post to my very own inconsequential blog and it seems to me that there's a need for a definition of exactly who I am and what I stand for, what I want, what I need, and what I want to accomplish with all of this. Although a blog's standard definition (to me at least) is a series of electronic ramblings that need not be linked by a common thread, it seems to me that most of what I have to say is relative to a couple of topics that have become close to my heart as I travel down the road of life - I might add that at my age more of this road could be considered behind me and less in front, and maybe this little public view of me is my attempt to make amends with myself in regards to the person that I wanted to be yet never was before now.

Maybe this is my attempt to be who I want to be. I think that if you present yourself in this medium you can either lie and be someone totally new and different (the person you want to be) or you can become the person you profess yourself to be when you have those little conversations with yourself during the quiet times at night (the person you should be)…

So, if I were to start placing tags on me should someone want 4-5 words to delineate who I am and whether any of these makes me worth investigating, then these would be the ones:

NudistQueerLonerAgnosticQuasi-Liberal

These items are most important to because:

As a nudist I am not able to live my life as I see fit and this is a predominant issue in my life because there are so many obstructions in my wanting to live that way. I think that the human body (and I mean every body) is beautiful, something to be celebrated and that nakedness is nothing to be ashamed of. This is a huge part of who I am and what I believe - I feel that if I should want to go to the store naked I should be able to do so without any ramifications and since I consider nude activism a plausible way to work towards these rights, I assumed that I should be open about this. I only reference my orientation (not preference but orientation) because it does NOT dominate my life. I do not segregate myself from those who have a different orientation or gravitate towards only those people which share the same orientation; I mention my being gay only because I want to be open in the event that someone should query this or feel that knowing my sexuality is a prerequisite before navigating up and down the pages of my little corner of the web. I am a loner and I try to determine why I isolate myself on a daily basis - my hope I that in some way this electronic "exposure" may have some answers for me and allow be to be a more social person, although I believe I have buried myself into a corner because I have not been totally comfortable with announcing that I was a gay, naked, agnostic, quasi-liberal before today. Religion (or lack thereof) is an intrinsic segment of many peoples lives - I acknowledge, possibly even envy, people who have found their god or their beliefs and live by their sacraments trying make this world a better place; I cannot condone people who have found their god and believe me to be a lesser person for not having the same god or persons who feel that all others must have the same god as well or be condemned to an eternal hell complete with fire and brimstone. I do believe that if there is a god that this god would be joy and love and acceptance and caring and compassion and understanding and if your god isn't like this I really don't think I want to get to know him. I say that I am a quasi-liberal only because I am tired of the need to define myself as fitting into any one of the many political parties. I believe many things that fit into one or more of these pre-defined political buckets and I am sure that as this blog progresses many of these ideologies will float to the surface solely for the benefit of me being able to preach from my new electronic soapbox...